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Acceptance.

Its blank because i still have not accept this thing yet.

Emotions

I feel like punching this keyboard right now, or anyone who is willing to be my punching bag.
I just can't do this anymore. Not when i'm OK and trying my best to handle my emotions to get me through the day and some people just easily stride in and make it the worst day ever.

Sampai bila ...
untuk apa ....

I am struggling.
The song from ungu - Andaiku tahu is repeatedly playing in my head right now.

You know whats bugging me nowadays?
I keep daydreaming, or dozing off?  I don't know how to describe it.
Especially when i'm driving and suddenly i missed a lane or a stop.
Kadang - kadang anak yang tegur
" mama , green means go!"
 Cause kat trafik light i'll be gazing at the street, most of the time i can't remember what i was thinking about.
Haven't told anyone about it though except writting it here.



Anti social.

So i deleted my social media account.
Its been a week.
And guess what? nobody cares or notice.
See, that is the problem about these social media accounts.
Everyday we wake up and the 1st thing we do? we check our phones for 'updates'.
Updates that , frankly speaking. Does nothing positive to our lives.

So how's it going being antisocial?
I think its good. I stopped looking at my phone cause i stopped wanting to scroll facebook or instagram. I still have twitter though lol.
I think i might as well uninstall that app one of these days.

I bought a book.
Yeah. I decided to go back to my favourite past time, reading and writting. Which i have abandoned due to ' lack of time '.

I am deppressed. I wanted to go and have it checked out, but there's this person advise not to first. That i should learn to control the feelings rather than get addicted to medicine.
I'm not sure i can handle the feelings sometimes.

Its empty.

How do you handle emptiness?How do you make it go away?
Right now the only way i can make it a little less painful is to cry. But i'm never a person who cries in front of people, its always on my own at night when the kids are asleep.




Road to recovery: Part 1


Kenangan di tempat yang suamiku selesa berada.



Post 89 days since election day on May 9th.
Also post 89 days since hubby's stroke attack.

Kenapa ya aku nak tulis blog ni, padahal waktu ni, hati ni tengah sangat terasa